The other night, I realized..."Hmmm. I'm becoming sick." I know what a revelation. It only occurred a few days after a friend forced me to drink tea; because I looked sick and didn't sound well. So, I decided, I shall take some nighttime medicine. That should do the trick...sleep and relief.
Well, I began reading while the medicine did it's work. When all of a sudden I hear loud talking and laughing from my roommate. She and a friend came into our house at 11:30. Instead of sticking to one of the rooms far off from the bedrooms, they choose the office.
I get so infuriated with these things. Parts of me first feel this rage (if that's what you could call it), of how inconsiderate is that. I'm trying to sleep and I don't feel good. I just want to sleep and you're being rude. But then the other part feels awful for feeling that. I get caught up in my emotions. I'm not very good at being selfish. But I'm not going to lie. I don't understand why it would be to much to ask for someone to be considerate of you.
There's all of these little things that have been building. I write them off and put them on myself. I say, well, I'm a jerk for expecting that. I'm slowly starting to realize that no, I am not. It's really not too much to expect from someone to be respectful. I am considerate of my roommate...at least I feel like I am.
So, this brings me to the dream I had after this. I finally fell asleep, thank you Jesus for nighttime medicine! I'm not too clear on all the details, but mostly here's the gist:
I'm on a vacation, I think it might be Washington D.C., and I'm with a bunch of my 'friends'. However, during this whole entire trip something kept gnawing at me. Finally, I find myself after a distinct moment leaving and going into the bathroom of where we were staying. I am trying so hard to control everything. I was so ready to go back. I had this huge epiphany, and then I wake up.
Well, I dislike those dreams that leave you all shaken inside. I just couldn't shake that feeling. I started thinking about it some more today. I started looking at the cast of my dream. I realized something, all of the people there were people that lately are relationships having been shifting, and honestly, not for the best...or maybe...who am I to say? Anyways, that did not help me to feel better, I suppose relief. Some of them are friends that I would hate to lose but really when I look at the relationship, it is time to move forward. Things can no longer stay the same. That was part of the dream. Everyone in the dream was trying so hard to remain the same. Any tension there was ignored...it was the elephant in the room.
Wow, so I suppose I shouldn't ever have a nightcap before bed. However, I did have some good revelations...even though, I'm unsure of what to do with them...
No comments:
Post a Comment