Ready or Not

It's been awhile since I've done any type of blogging on the internet. I started to make a reference to The Office and Creed's blog in a word format. I'm not really sure how to begin. Except, I kind of feel lame...Steve and Thomas told me to do this. I wasn't but then just how things worked out, I thought I would give it a whirl. So, here we go on this journey.

It was cruel...it was dirty...it wasn't the nicest thing I've done today. As my best friend, *Steve was walking out of the office, I made the statement..."I'm doubting my call to ministry." I knew he was leaving. It would mean I could release this idea without really having to explore it. It's kind of like when you send a birthday card or something trivial; it means a lot but you don't necessarily give it another thought. **Then my other good friend, Thomas, was left to pick up the pieces of my misguided ways. Truly, we chatted for a little bit, then I did have leave.

I went on with the day of going to class, doing some homework, and going to a band concert, excuse me, recital. It brought joy to to see a couple members of my youth perform. They were so excited that I took time out of my schedule to come and watch them. The pride they showed filled my heart. After I parted from them. I returned home.

I started to work on tomorrow's lesson. I wanted to go over it and make it the buick of all lessons thus far. As I was reading the story of the Samaritian woman, I stopped, I would read a few lines, and then pause. I was taking it in as if it was the first time I had read it. As I was pondering, my Bible flipped. There laying in it was pages of notes. It was my one and only sermon.

I had preached at Harrah last May. I chuckled. I started to read through it, even though, I knew what it said. It brought warm memories back to life - things I haven't thought of in awhile. As I was reading a line caught me. I had just shared the story about how Steve had triggered a story for me...but then in the same instant as it appeared it was gone, like lightening. The only thing I could exclaim was, "That reminds me of a great story...that I can't remember now!"

I continued to say that sometimes we are filled with excitement and it doesn't pause for us to be ready. It is like hide-and-go seek. When the person is counting down; you are standing there, pankicking. "Where to hide?!? Where can I go?" It gets closer to one! 3 - 2 -1! Ready or not, here I come! You're left standing there - scared but thrilled. And even if we are not ready to be found, someone is still searching.

It reminded me as I reflected back to my doubts of ministry that I really don't know the whole of it. I do know with time, patience, discernment, and God, I will get it figured out. I'm petrified. I'm not sure if what I'm doing at the church is what I should be doing. However, ready or not, I will continue on and put my faith into God.

déselo a dios

*I originally was not going to use names...that was blown out of the water!
**This was added to appease certain people...some of this information is true. He he...